This post probably takes birth following my friend's post on how hard it is to be one's true self when one carries two XX chromosomes instead of an X and a Y. I also had a conversation with an old friend who talked of why he did not want his sister to write JEE despite her being academically brilliant and having opted for the science stream in +2. The reason he cited was, this is an unhealthy environment for girls, it takes too much out of you being a girl in this place.How many of us can truthfully disagree with that? The first thing that a school junior of mine uttered, on being asked how she was finding IIT Bombay, was, it feels scary being a girl here.
Girls suffer the torment of being placed under a judgmental microscope practically everywhere but I'm just going to talk about this esteemed centre of excellence. For some crazy reason (I still cant figure out what), I always believed that education was associated with character and an open mind. My naivety in associating academic excellence with education is another issue. I can still recall the culture shock I got, back in my freshman year, when I realized that a majority of even the so-called educated guys in an esteemed and reverred academic institute were in character no way different from roadside hooligans.
Right from the freshie night anti-cheerings and the countless sick messages received to bets on what you would wear in class to gossiping of graphic liasons with every guy you speak with to attributing every single achievement of yours to unscruplous means, every girl here learns to accept that she cannot expect any respect from her male counterparts here.
A dear friend had once tried to surmise a reason for guys here being even worse than the guys in regular colleges, a fact that he believed to be the case. His reasoning was that nearly 95 percent of the guys who made it here had spent their growing up years absorbed in just books, obviously a healthy interaction with girls was absent, especially at a time when they were maturing. Upon coming here, they were introduced to countless hours of pornography that eventually resultsed in them viewing the female species as mere objects, nothing more.
Another reason that people kept pointing out was the male ego walking ten miles ahead of the entities themselves. Its hard for guys to accept that girls can be equal to them. When the equality in skill gets proven, its time to find other faults. The fact that they then no longer consider the girls female but coin a term non-males for them should give an indication of the levels to which they would go to display their contempt.
Whats even more disheartening is that when, in such a place, we girls should have stuck together, we failed to do just that. We turned out to be each others' worst enemies. Instead of supporting each other, we pulled each other down when one of us got something we all wanted.
You can attribute it to the male ego or the skewed sex ratio but the fact remains that it does take a lot out of you to retain your sanity here if you're a girl. Of course we do evolve to adapt to the environment. We get used to people talking rubbish and just accustom ourselves not to pay heed. And if we cannot develop that resistance and immunity to these arrows , we wear cloaks of invisibility and hide inside our shells, at least no arrows are launched then. We dont wear skirts to class even if its sweltering 41 degrees outside with an 88% humidity to match. We train ourselves not be hurt when we realize that erstwhile friends had been talking behind our backs. We accustom ourselves to keep our feelings inside us and not let them out even if they lead to insurmountable stress accompanied by pcos.
A place of learning should be characterised by freedom, to explore one's strengths and not by prejudiced societal diktats. People might argue that its the Indian society where we grew up but somehow I believed that people of such high mental callibre would have an associated moral fibre to think independently and choose what they believed was right. Sadly, I was disappointed.
PS: That apart, I must say I have been lucky to have friends here who have not only treated me with respect but also supported me in my endeavours. may their tribe increase. And unfortunately, most of the girls here have not been that lucky.
Girls suffer the torment of being placed under a judgmental microscope practically everywhere but I'm just going to talk about this esteemed centre of excellence. For some crazy reason (I still cant figure out what), I always believed that education was associated with character and an open mind. My naivety in associating academic excellence with education is another issue. I can still recall the culture shock I got, back in my freshman year, when I realized that a majority of even the so-called educated guys in an esteemed and reverred academic institute were in character no way different from roadside hooligans.
Right from the freshie night anti-cheerings and the countless sick messages received to bets on what you would wear in class to gossiping of graphic liasons with every guy you speak with to attributing every single achievement of yours to unscruplous means, every girl here learns to accept that she cannot expect any respect from her male counterparts here.
A dear friend had once tried to surmise a reason for guys here being even worse than the guys in regular colleges, a fact that he believed to be the case. His reasoning was that nearly 95 percent of the guys who made it here had spent their growing up years absorbed in just books, obviously a healthy interaction with girls was absent, especially at a time when they were maturing. Upon coming here, they were introduced to countless hours of pornography that eventually resultsed in them viewing the female species as mere objects, nothing more.
Another reason that people kept pointing out was the male ego walking ten miles ahead of the entities themselves. Its hard for guys to accept that girls can be equal to them. When the equality in skill gets proven, its time to find other faults. The fact that they then no longer consider the girls female but coin a term non-males for them should give an indication of the levels to which they would go to display their contempt.
Whats even more disheartening is that when, in such a place, we girls should have stuck together, we failed to do just that. We turned out to be each others' worst enemies. Instead of supporting each other, we pulled each other down when one of us got something we all wanted.
You can attribute it to the male ego or the skewed sex ratio but the fact remains that it does take a lot out of you to retain your sanity here if you're a girl. Of course we do evolve to adapt to the environment. We get used to people talking rubbish and just accustom ourselves not to pay heed. And if we cannot develop that resistance and immunity to these arrows , we wear cloaks of invisibility and hide inside our shells, at least no arrows are launched then. We dont wear skirts to class even if its sweltering 41 degrees outside with an 88% humidity to match. We train ourselves not be hurt when we realize that erstwhile friends had been talking behind our backs. We accustom ourselves to keep our feelings inside us and not let them out even if they lead to insurmountable stress accompanied by pcos.
A place of learning should be characterised by freedom, to explore one's strengths and not by prejudiced societal diktats. People might argue that its the Indian society where we grew up but somehow I believed that people of such high mental callibre would have an associated moral fibre to think independently and choose what they believed was right. Sadly, I was disappointed.
PS: That apart, I must say I have been lucky to have friends here who have not only treated me with respect but also supported me in my endeavours. may their tribe increase. And unfortunately, most of the girls here have not been that lucky.
